I managed to stay cool today although I made some childish remarks in the process. I showed some poise and grace in my dealings with others.

My general attitude toward those I work with still leaves much to be desired. I have progressed significantly in the past few years but, still find myself sliding back into old patterns pretty often. Just need to remember progress not perfection. 

Today I was meticulous. I solved a few mundane but important issues at work to the best of my ability and didn't complain. 

I did lose patience briefly when a certain group of coworkers was trying to sign me up for a shit ton of meetings next week. I ain't having it. It is somewhat out of my control so I can just push it; I'll deal with it on Monday.  

 I don't think I owe any new amends although I still have a lot of old ones to do... 

Today I was patient. Very patient. There was a fatality on the train tracks and the trains were very very very late. All I thought about was that the trouble was limited as much as possible. I didn't pace or worry about how long it was going to be. I trusted I'd be delivered where I need to be and at the end of the day I was, albeit later than expected. 

did get frustrated at work. Same things different day. There are systems and processes in place to streamline communication and help us work effectively together. Some people ignore these things and it ALWAYS results in communication breakdown. Go figure... 

I got stung by a bee in the morning just above my left eye. That was not ok but it didn't even leave a bump so I think I'll survive... 

These are supposed to be inventories... I think I'll try to focus on specific traits from now on... Here goes nothing... 

oday I was mostly patient. I lost my patience for a few minutes in the middle of the day but quickly regained my center. I was courteous and available. It was a good day. 

Today Ann decided to bring her friend over the house and clean a bunch. Small resentment since I am cleaning constantly but she wanted to be praised for her single burst day but, that resentment was quickly extinguished. No big deal.

I went through a bunch of mail and found some paperwork I need to scan and file away for safe keeping.  

At rehab we talked a lot about internal stuff. It all culminated in motivations and the balance between internal and external motivations. She said the more internal motivation you have, the better since you are the only thing you have control over. I can grok that, I'll have to read into it a bit more...

Today we do a visit, I have a few meetings and ends with rehab.

Work meetings are always drab but this time I think at least one of them will be fruitful. We will be discussing our new data model and how we want to move forward in the near term. It's not a meeting where some childish person tries to "solve the world" it should be constructive.  

My recovery has taught me so much that I use in day to day work and relationships. I am very grateful that I have this fellowship, these steps, these suggestions.  

The modification petition was denied. It is hard to find gratitude in these times but I was able to complete a gratitude list anyway. These gratitude lists sure are a nice way of altering perspective. I am always uplifted by them even if the list contains very simple things. No matter what I can muster, it is always helpful. 

Today we have court, it should go well. I am printing out all the relevant paperwork so we are prepared. The universe will provide, just takes a bit of faith. 

Today we went to New York state pagan pride day. We made a lot of acquaintances and it was a good time. The weather was nice, the people were open, and I enjoyed  the company.

 I finished the shawl I was knitting, I'll probably take some pictures and IG it tomorrow. 

No new amends.  

Had a good day. Work went well, visits went well, rehab went well, AA went really well not too much caffeine. All around good day. 

At Sunlight of the Spirit there was a speaker which is uncommon for that meeting. It was a gentleman I met at pennscypaa and he is a deeply invested and spiritual man. We exchanged numbers are I hope we can hit some pretty rad meetings every now and again. Do some AA road tripping! 

 No new amends. 

I have to help evaluate the same young man I helped evaluate a couple weeks ago. If I were this candidate I would have stopped the process for employment by now. We have all spoken with him and given recommendations already, now we all have to speak with him again and do another debrief. It seems excessive but it is company policy so I'll go along with it. 

 This evening I have a parenting class to do, it is the penultimate session for me and Ann. Next month will be the final session. 

Another day waking up clear headed! By grace no doubt!

 Today I have an early meeting for work then probably a lot of implementation, a meeting and chillin with my sponsor... A pretty typical Wednesday. 

Work went well today. Group rehab has a new counselor, she seems like she is pretty good we'll see.

My communication with other people has been good lately, I have not incurred any new reasons to make amends. Although I have held back in my therapy at rehab, I think I am progressing ok enough for now.  

Today was hard but I got through it. Work was too much talking about talking about doing things. Meetings for meetings are the worst and I typically do not tolerate them. Today, I started with a gratitude list and I think that helped me stay in a present and productive space.

Going over the day's events, I have not uncovered any new amends that need making. Overall a good and productive day indeed. 

I have not been doing my day end inventories... I will get better at this. I must get better at this. Rigorously honest living is the only way for us to survive. 

Meeting the wife after she treats a few people then I'll need to undo the auto payments to some of my debtors. I have fallen on hard financial times and am in a robbing Peter to pay Paul situation. This too shall pass. 

First day back to work. Hopefully it isn't too relentless. Of course if I keep my steps in mind, I'll be able to function well no matter what... I just need to practice all the principles in all my affairs. 

Today is the last day of this particular vacation period. Dragon con was immensely fun though I kind of dropped my 10th step writing for nearly the entire time. I'll probably just relax today, play some games, read some chapters, meet with my sponsor and chill... 

Production team at work needs to use the development boxes again. Looks like the work I said could be finished before I left won't get finished. Not my problem, they have had ample time to stand up production boxes, they simply did not want to. 

I'll let my supervisor know what is left unfinished at the end of the day.  

I'll need to do some packing for dragon con today. I'll probably just pack T shirts and pants.  Ann is going on about some kind of fluffy shirt I don't own, she'll probably find one at the con. After PENNSCYPAA I just don't have my heart in this comic convention.

PENNSCYPAA was an all encompassing spiritual experience. There, everyone was in it to help the next struggling addict, there were 0 people in attendance for any other reason. These other conventions are full of ulterior motives and those looking to get over on the next guy. Going from one space to the other will be difficult. At least I have planned out a few AA meetings I can attend while I'm down there. 

Got most of the work I need done. Just need to finish up some coding and I have a free and clear vacation period. I think I've figured out which meetings in Atlanta I'll be attending. It'll be nice to hit some AA in a new area.